I’m not sure I want to be a “duck”

Ya know what? 

These past few days have been heartbreaking and painful to witness.  Nothing I could write here could come close to describing the pain I’ve seen some go through and it’s a terrible thing to watch. 

I think what a lot of people have forgotten in this fight, is WHY and HOW  **WE** got here.  Everyone involved in this crusade has a reason for being here.  A reason for putting effort into this cause.  And one doesn’t outweigh any other.   Let me repeat that: ONE DOES NOT OUTWEIGH ANY OTHER!  It’s sad to watch along as people dig at each other and poke at each others feelings and mental stability.   It’s sad to realize that some are held to a higher standard then others.  Especially when they have NO RIGHT to poke at anyone.  People make mistakes, they fall down, they stumble, but, that certainly doesn’t equate to mental instability.  It also doesn’t mean they should be trampled on, for their mistakes. 

What cracks me up, though, is that it only takes one or two posts by an “untouchable” (and I don’t mean that in an ugly way) to make everything alright.  WTF???  I really thought, coming into this fight, that I was surrounded by people who had “class” – “conviction” – “morels” and “standards” – my picture was inaccurate.   Blurry at best!  I can see clearly now that things are not as they seem.  I think, what started out as a crusade against Heidi Diaz has turned into a debacle before my very eyes.   To think that I’ve always maintained that there was no “mob mentality” ???   It breaks my heart to come to this realization.   Nothing is as it seems!  I have been naive in thinking that above ALL else, we were ALL on the same team and had the same goal in mind.  You can’t imagine how painful it is for me to come to that realization.

Ducky, if that really was you, I have to say, I’m disappointed.  That’s really the only word I can find to described my feelings right now.  I had held you in such high regard and at such a high standard.   And that’s even without ever knowing you.  All I ever knew was that you were “the one” – the one that everyone looked up to and admired.  To know that that statue has come crumbling down (at-least in my mind) has taken ALL the wind from my sail.   

I’ve made a few friends along this journey.  And for that, I am truly grateful.  I have learned more than enough, about consumer fraud and it’s effects on the human psyche.  I’ve learned “code” and lingo that I never would have learned had I not entered this fight.  I am a blogger – and that had never entered my mind before.  I’ve found out things about people that I never knew I could find on the Internet.  I’ve learned that VLCD are dangerous and that overweight people can and do have anorexic symptoms and behaviors.  I’ve learned what a healthy diet really is and how grateful I am for not having followed the Kimkins diet when I signed up in September 2006.   I’ve learned that you will not change every-ones mind, no matter how hard you try.  And that there will always be someone out there, willing – ready and able to scam you if you let them. 

As you can see, I take with me, a lot of new knowledge from this whole fiasco.  Knowledge is good.  The more you know – the more you grow – and I’ve grown A LOT! 

Thank you to those that have extended a hand to me and have shown me friendship.  It means the world to me!!!  I know I didn’t publicly get involved in this cause until much later than most – but I have been working hard to help.  I have a great amount of respect for most of the folks who  fight this fight and I walk away with that in my heart.  You guys are amazing and I know that because of your efforts, Heidi will be brought to justice for her crimes. 

If I should stumble upon any Heidi information, I’ll be sure to pass it along.  But, for now, I need a break.  I am confused and saddened by what I have witnessed these past few days and it doesn’t work well with staying focused and on task. 

God Bless,


p.s.    Mimi,  I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry you have had to put up with such hateful and ugly comments written by people from your past.  I wish you happiness, contentment and the knowledge that you are loved!!  It’s evident that you have many folks in your corner and I am truly happy for that.  I need a break right now – because I’ve gotten to the point that I’m angry every time I read comments from a select few and it drives me insane to watch along as they fill the minds of those that only want to understand, with such bull shit.  You are a hero, in my book.  You’ve stood up and taken the hits like nobody’s business and it does my heart good to see that.  But, it can’t be easy – and that’s why I’m so sad.  You are a pillar of strength and I am proud to call you my friend.   Hold your head high!  You’ve conquered demons that most would run away from.  I’m proud of you. 


10 Responses to “I’m not sure I want to be a “duck””

  1. MJR, I can completely relate to how you’re feeling. Still, I hope you take a short reprieve to rejuvenate and return. You’re a big part of all this and you’re appreciated and needed. Heidi will have to face the responsibilities of her actions and that was a group effort. A very large group effort. So many have contributed in different degrees of ability but every single effort counts.
    In all honesty, I find it pretty amazing that such a diverse group of people have worked so well together over such a long period of time with very few fall-outs. Not many people involved in the exposing of Heidi and her scam have actually met in person yet the sense of belonging and connection has been strong and durable. I think that’s a great testament to all involved.
    Heidi may be sitting there now, due to all this, smirking. I don’t think it matters. The smirk will be wiped from her face soon enough.
    I know that things lately have been disappointing. My eyes have been opened and my previous opinions changed, too. Still, the goal remains the same and the results will indeed be worth the efforts put in, sooner than later.
    Hang in there. Don’t take leave permanently, please. We need you.

  2. {{{MJR}}} What a heartfelt and poignant post.

    You have worked so hard behind the scenes and your efforts have resulted in your uncovering so much information to help out “the cause.” For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    I want to thank you, too, for your friendship and support over these many months, MJR. You are a true friend.

    Please take some time for yourself. I would be heartbroken if you threw in the towel. And I know I do not speak for just myself when I say that.

    ~ Medusa

  3. MJR, thank you for taking such a clear stand. I hear your heart. I do hope your rest is very short – there is still work that needs to be done, and contrary to what some might think, it takes all of us. So, try to hang tough, hon.

    Hey, join a subgroup of folks you like. Just – no secret handshakes, okay?

    I’m proud to know you. And I enjoy your blog!

  4. MJR, great post. I truly hope you only take a break. I too believe in all that you have helped with. We love you.

    As far as the other stuff goes….secret loops, clubs or whatever..sounds to me like a big Ego trip for most. I think these people need to read Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose”. I’m an truly sorry to see all the infighting going on. I think all of them have contributed in their own way.

    This fight against Heidi will go on with or without them as it is not over until the fat lady sings (Nessa says she hasn’t sung yet, lol).

    I hope everyone can take a step back and get back to business soon. Find that MCD connection!!

    WE love ya, MJR and hurry back to us.

  5. I hope you will take some time to recharge and rethink. The group is like a huge family with lots of different individual personalities and independant thinking not a borg collective.

    Every “family” has sqabbles and during a squabble sibs “hate” each other from the bottom of their heart and take sides with other sibs in the fight or try to act as pecemakers, but that event passes and they are in there fighting for that same sib the next day.
    It doesn’t mean their feeling from the previous day about that event that evoked that “hate” have changed it just means they really do love and care about that sib. I remember when I was young my older sister was being beatten up and threatened at school. I went with her and she said was scared. The classmate who had been beating her up ran over and said I told you not to be on this playground or I’d beat you up. The kid was bigger then me but I announced NObody Beats up my sister but me! and stepped between them ready to clobber her should she throw the first punch. She backed off and never touched my sister again.
    While many folk are not happy with one or more of those posting on the blogs and in the commnets about the issue should Heidi or anybody else from that group attack any of them all would be at their side armed to the teeth to defend them cause that is the nature of our common bond.

    Just think at the Ducks reunion when Heidi’s parole hearing comes up we will all look back on these days and share about them and all our memories will get a little fuzzy about who did what to who but we will all remember the fun we had finding that reddressed Kimmer pic, seeing the PI pics of her and all the hard work working to make Kimkins.con a 404 error page and getting heidi an orange suit. I hope you will be here the day that 404 error report goes up posting a huge WOOOO HOOOO page.

  6. Sheridan Says:

    MJR, just take a little break if you need to, but don’t hang it up forever. Okay? Please? We all need ya’.

  7. kimkinscam Says:

    You guys are great! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for these comments. They mean a lot to me and I appreciate them more than you know.

    To be honest, I felt much better just getting that anger off my chest and into words. Sometimes it helps to just get it out. I also noticed that shortly after my post, the Morgan, Mimi thing took a turn for the better – and for that, I am happy. 2Big, your sibling story really made sense to me and I know your words were true. And I do hope to be around when that 404 page comes up. THAT WILL BE A VERY GOOD DAY!!

    I am, however, going to take a few days, weeks, ???, to breathe and clear my head. It would seem that my emotions are really tied tight around this Kimkins mess and sometimes it feels suffocating. I hope you all understand where I’m coming from. I hope to come back stronger than ever with a new sense of drive and fresh fingers and eyes. LOL

    It was wonderful to hear that Heidi can’t get her money back! The Writ of Attachment, upheld. Whoo Hooo! (that was for 2Big) Bigger “whoo hooo” to come, I hope.

    Take care, you guys, and enjoy your holiday weekend. I promise to enjoy mine.


  8. yustyucky Says:

    {{{{MJR}}}} I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to get my head out of my ass and come over to read your blog. You are an absolute dear and how you or anybody else has put up with me, I can’t understand. Thank you, MJ, for your friendship. I don’t deserve it. I’ve been such a bitch — way too emotional, melodramatic, egotistical, whiney, thoughtless, petty, unkind, yadda yadda, and wish I could take back a whole bunch of mean things that were said out of old hurts I need to let go of, and old anger ditto.

    That has strained friendships and caused a lot of upset, and for that I feel like total crap. I’m sorry, from my heart, and like I said, apologies are meaningless unless they’re followed by a positive change in behavior (and attitude! oy, the attitude!)

    A friend was kind enough to comment candidly — I’m NOT easy to love. The fact that you guys stick up for me right or wrong, it’s not fair for me to put you guys in that position of having to take sides, when MJ like you said, we’re all supposed to be working for a common cause.

    I’m always starting over. Sometimes every day, sometimes every hour, every year, whatever — starting over trying to lose weight, or master a skill, or learn a lesson most people seem to have learned long ago. This is one of those starting over things.

    Hugs to you all and I’ll make a more determined effort to not be such a drama queen, and to be more considerate of you and everyone else who has tried to be my friend.


  9. kimkinscam Says:


    No! I think you ARE VERY easy to Love! Don’t worry about me – I’m doing fine, now. And NO MORE APOLOGIES! K? My beef was with others, but, I’ve gotten that off my chest and have moved on. Thanks for your comment, though, it means a lot. You’re a trooper and I’m happy to have you as a friend.



    P.S. Starting over…. not a bad idea. Maybe I need to start over and get back to work. I need to round up all those screen shots and get them organized to send them off to John. I’ve read those statements by Heidi over and over again. But, even now, already knowing what I know, it still makes my blood boil to read her ugliness. Laxatives, Starvation, Lies and more Lies – She’s really a piece of work. I can’t wait to see her go down.

  10. yustyucky Says:

    {{{{MJ}}}} Thank goodness you’re ok! Listen, whatever crap was coming my way, I’m the one who threw the first handful, and then just kept throwing. Totally disregarding the feelings of friend and foe alike. So anyway, bleh. You and so many people here, what a blessing you are, not just to me but to tons of other people. Like it or not, you’re a REAL antiKimkins blogger, a real Nancy Drew, and you’re a natural at it — you’re able to not only locate information but make sense out of it, and then make it make sense to those of us who can’t.

    Thank you again for your friendship, and for being a real person with a real heart.

    It’s good people like you and these others here working so hard and caring so much about right and wrong, who prove that the Good will not only win but already has won, by the simple fact that it survives and thrives in spite of such Badness.


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